If you’ve ever walked into a room and forgotten why, or stared at a to-do list so long it felt like a personal failure, you’re not alone. For many adults, especially women and people of color, the signs of ADHD have been there all along, but masked by other things. Anxiety. Overachievement. People-pleasing. Guilt.
ADHD is often framed as a childhood condition, with boys bouncing off the walls or getting in trouble at school. But for adults, the symptoms tend to show up differently, especially after the structure of school is long gone. Executive dysfunction becomes the main roadblock. That means you want to do the thing, you know how to do the thing, but your brain simply won’t start. You might be chronically late, overwhelmed by email, or emotionally exhausted from overcompensating.
Many of my clients describe feeling “lazy” or “broken” for years before realizing there was something deeper going on. For women in particular, ADHD often hides under the surface. Maybe you were the quiet daydreamer. Or maybe you were praised for being “so organized,” but no one saw the panic behind the color-coded planner. That’s because ADHD in girls and women is usually less hyperactive and more internalized.
In therapy, we start to untangle that narrative. We look at how your environment, upbringing, and expectations shaped how you masked your symptoms. And we gently begin to name what’s really been happening: a neurological difference, not a character flaw.
Getting diagnosed as an adult can bring up all kinds of emotions. Relief. Grief. Clarity. Even anger at the years lost to misunderstanding yourself. It’s a process, not a finish line. But it can be a deeply validating one.
If you’re wondering whether ADHD might be part of your story, here’s where you can start:
- Keep a journal of your daily patterns. Where do you get stuck, distracted, or overwhelmed?
- Notice the times you say, “What’s wrong with me?” and replace it with “What does my brain need right now?”
- Find a provider who understands how ADHD shows up across different identities.
- Talk to a therapist who can walk with you through the emotional side of the journey.
Therapy isn’t just about labeling something. It’s about rewriting the story you’ve been told. You are not lazy. You are not broken. You’ve just been trying to run a race no one told you had hurdles.
Curious to explore whether ADHD might be part of your experience?
You deserve a space that sees the full picture. Reach out at www.adonisteletherapy.com for a culturally affirming consultation.
